He Is Faithful That Promised

Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) Hebrew 10:23

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Whatsoever



I have been practicing by vague knowledge of html. I wanted my flower border back and I wanted a background image. Well, nothing worked. And I don't want to start from scratch yet. Any suggestions?

It has been a long week for me. I have a case of the blues. I feel.....something. It isn't good. I feel like I don't have a single way to change the mess I have made of my life. I hear God talking but I can't seem to do anything He tells me. I believe, I trust, I love, but I am all alone and I falter, I stumble, I fall, and each time it takes me longer to get back on my feet.

K. does not support me in anything. He goes out of his way to hold me back, to take away things that I like. His is not a physical abuse; it is an emotional abuse. He is manipulative and revengeful and has a passive-aggressive behavior. I have learnt this over the years as I have tried to figure out what was wrong with me. I know it isn't my fault but it took me a long time to figure this out. Now I know he has the problem.

What I am trying to figure out is how to have the life that I need. My feelings and needs have been mashed down from childhood. It is showing up in my bad health. I have to do something for me. I do not have the courage to cause a scene because I have no one to go to for help. I do not have job skills to make enough money to be on my on.

I do not want to end my marriage; I want more in my life. Does that make sense? Can that actually happen?

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And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do; and the God of peace shall be with you. Philippians 4:7-9

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