Last week was the hardest week I have had since I started working at the day care. This group of children have been coming to day care since they were infants. But it was like I was having to instruct children that have not had any routine in their daily life. Every time I would tell them it was time to do something they would either start crying or tell me they didn't want to do it. I really don't want to go back to work tomorrow; but I know I have to.

One of the younger teachers was a tremendous help to me. She volunteered to go on the field trips for me. The past tuesday was a day at a water park. I was worried that I wouldn't do too well with the heat index in the 100's and keeping up with my group of 3's and 4's running every which a way. She approached me and asked if I wanted stay with her one year old class and she would go on the field trips for me. I don't know how it will reflect on my job evaluation this year but I know I am not able to stay outside in the heat. I can take my children outside to the playground because it is a small fenced area with shade and it is for only thirty minutes at a time. If we go off somewhere I worry that I will have to chase one of the kids to keep them from hurting their self. I worry that I will not be able to do my job. I was exhausted every day after work. I came straight home and collapsed. I know it was combination of not being well and the stress of my new group of children. But I am scared that I will not be able to do a good job with these 3's and 4's.

I would like to be taking care of the babies again. I know I can do that job. Really I would like to not have to work at all. I am waiting on God for guidance. He knows what I am able to do and He knows my needs.

I am still not over my cold or viral infection as the doctor called it. I guess it has turned into something else. My voice is hoarse after a day of continuous loud talking with my kids. I have coughing spells when I lie down, when I eat, and sometimes while I am talking. I have a doctor's appointment on the 11th. I am hoping I will get some medicine that will get me well. I have been sick since May 16th. Each time I get a viral infection, it takes me longer to get over it.

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And who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good? But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled; But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear.
1 Peter 3:13-15