Whose life is it?

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I seem to have a problem dealing with people. I think I have always had it; maybe I was born with it. I don't like being in the company of just anyone. I am selective. I try to avoid everyone else. My family did a lot of visiting when I was little. I remember these rules from childhood:

Be respectful to your elders.
Say yes mam, yes sir, and no mam and no sir when speaking to your elders.
Do not say things that will hurt someone's feelings.
Do not ask for food or drink. You may accept a glass of water.
Do not touch anything.

These are just a few from a long list. I believe in being respectful but where do you draw the line? Is there ever a time when you are allowed to hurt someone's feelings? Are there guidelines written by someone other than Miss Manners?

My mother in law is making feel crazy. She has been what I considered mean to me in the past. I tried to get along and keep peace in the family. She was there for me during a very hard time four years ago. No one from my family offered to help. Lately I have been there for my mother in law during her hard time. She is asking too much of me and it is beginning to take its toll. She wants me to be with her everyday. I have tried telling her no, that I don't want to go anywhere. If I tell her I have plans( sometimes I do lie)she will call and ask again. Even when I tell her I am sick, she says that's all right, she's sick, too.I don't want to get mean and hurt her feelings; but I think it may be the only solution.

My mom is another problem. I don't visit my parents as much as they want. I know what it feels like not see or hear from your child. But I still don't visit very often. I can't change the way I feel towards them or maybe I don't want to change. I can only take so much of my parents. I do not feel a closeness with them. I feel no connection or bond. They know because I don't usually hug them; I don't feel a need to hug them. I didn't get hugs or kisses when I was growing up, except from my granny. Maybe that is part of the problem. My parents depend on me more than my three sisters and it is also taking it's toll on me. I have gotten to the point that I don't even go to the store. If I try to go to the store without going by mom's, someone always sees me. I will get a phone call and she says, you were seen at walmart!

I feel I should be able to live part of my life the way I want. Is that too selfish? So far my life is divided between my husband, my children, my grandson, my parents, my grandmother, my sisters, husband's parents, husband's brothers and sister, my nieces and nephews, husband's niece's and nephews, my aunts and uncles, husband's aunts and uncles, my cousins, husband's cousins, and the list can go on and on with people that I should be interacting with. God is suppose to come first but He doesn't always. Then you add on your church family as part of your life.

Am I allowed a part of my life? Can I have more than leftover crumbs after everyone gets through with me? I have reached an age when I should have experienced what I wanted for myself. I have never had that opportunity offered and I have not taken it.
Is a person's life not their own?


But thou art he that took me out of the womb: thou didst make me hope when I was upon my mother's breasts. I was cast upon thee from the womb: thou art my God from my mother's belly. Be not far from me; for trouble is near; for there is none to help. Ps. 22:9-11