Today I was able to do something I have never done before. To some it may sound totally unnecessary and to some it may be something you believe is wrong. Well to be truthful I believe both in some context.

I went to a casino. I gambled. It was okay, no need to worry about it becoming a habit. I wasted $20. But I wanted to go because it was something I have never done. Not that I want to do everything that is offered in the world. There are just some things that I feel that I ought to be able to do if I choose to do it. If it doesn't hurt anyone or any thing; isn't it okay? Am I tempting fate? Am I hurting myself?

I think about the things I thought I would be doing by the time I reached my age. Teenage ideas that I day dreamed about before I married. Things that I thought all married couples naturally did; like going out to eat every Friday night, going to church on Sundays, taking care of the house and yard together, vacation every year, etc.

As it has turned out; nothing, not one thing is the way I naively thought it would be. It turned out that my life is totally opposite of my dreams. I told myself that this year I will try to turn some things around. I pray for guidance to know the things that I need to change and to leave alone the things I can't or shouldn't; so I won't be under so much stress and unhappiness.

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To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. Ecclesiatstes 3:1-8