The sky was clear today. It was not the beautiful cerulean blue I love so well; but it was a heartwarming cloudless sky. There was enough of a chilly breeze to make me shiver, but I braved it for a little while.

I have been fighting a headache for a couple of days. My nose has been stuffy so I am telling myself it is a sinus headache. I started taking otc claritin and it has cleared my nose but I still have forehead and cheek pain.

In January the endocrine clinic had given me a referral to see a psychologist. I wasn't going to go because I don't see how talking to someone will help me. But when the doctor called again to set up the appointment I said okay. I went today and filled out the paper work and asked the psychologist questions and she asked me some questions. She thinks I have a severe case of clinical depression and wants to put me on zoloft. But I also could be still having problems with my parathyroid so she has to talk with my endocrinologist before she can do anything. I am again in the waiting process of getting any kind of diagnosis and help.

I am scheduled for weekly visits; I still don't see how this will help but I am willing to do anything to find my way back to being whole again. I don't recognize the person looking back at me from the mirror. I do not have the desire to do any of the things that at one time gave me pleasure. I do not like the same things that I used to like. I don't know who I am anymore.

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Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast. Psalm 57:1