The psychologist is trying to help me re-train the way I think. This is suppose to be the cause of my unhappiness, which in turn is the cause of my depression. It sounds logical and easy to do. I am finding out that even though I am using new words to express my thoughts, something is still out of synch.

I don't want to talk to people. Most of the time I can't think of anything to say. Or maybe it is because I think what I want to say is not going to make any sense to them. Or maybe I am afraid they won't like what I want to say. I know I don't like what they are saying to me. The only people I feel comfortable with are my husband and my sons and daughterinlaws. Everyone else makes me numb. When I am with other people, I can actually feel myself shutting down and withdrawing. I use to love talking. Now I can't get words to come out of my mouth.

I feel out of place everywhere I go. I feel like I am a square peg being forced into a round hole.