I have been greatly saddened ever since the doctor's appointment yesterday. I wasn't expecting to hear what we did and am still trying to accept the uncertainty of mine and K's future.

Yes, he still has cancer and it is too advanced for treatment. The doctor is just trying to keep it from settling anywhere else. At the moment he fears that it is in K's bones. K has been in pain and now it is a constant pain. He is now on pain medication. But if the cancer settles anywhere else; the doctor will prescribe chemo. September 9th, K will have a bone scan to see if the cancer is in the bones. And then the doctor will start treating it. The prostate cancer has responded to the hormone therapy and has stopped spreading throughout his body but the doctor believes the pain is from bone cancer.

He also told us that if K gets sick, his immune system is so low his body won't be able to heal itself. He told K he needs to start taking better care of himself. But he won't, he won't even stop smoking. Yes, I know it is his body and he can do what he wants with it. I am reaching a point where I don't know if I can continue watching someone knowingly do more harm to theirselves. I am fearful.

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I will bless the Lord, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons. I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope. For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption. Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore. Psalm 16:7-11