I have spent the day crocheting and resting. I surprised myself and did manage to work my three twelve hour days without being totally exhausted. It was three days of listening to inconsolable crying toddlers; but I didn't quit my job. I had a strong urge to run screaming from the building but I took three ibuprofens with a tall cup of coffee and went back to my class room.

The hardest thing I face is the constant thought that K will be coming home. I have to keep reminding myself that he isn't going to be walking through the door. To me, paying bills is a minor thing right now, I want to talk to my husband, I want to sit my him, I want to lay by him, I want to be held by him, I miss him so much.

I am going to move forward. I can't imagine how right now; but I will.

I miss you my love.

*****************************************

Hear me speedily, O Lord; my spirit faileth: hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down into the pit. Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.
Psalm 143:7-8