K is feeling so much better. The pain in his rib cage is finally bearable. So far he has not noticed any side effects from the radiation treatments. There is a list of side effects that can show up in the future called long term effects. Those the doctor will checking for and of course I will be watching for.

He can sleep laying flat instead of propped up at an angle. He can walk without his cane. Everyone that sees him, tells him how great he looks. He actually has a smile on his face that no one has seen in a while. For now he is pain free.

Now we are dealing with another staph infection. He doesn't want to go to the emergency room as usual. I get so upset with him; we could treat it without a hospital stay if he would go ahead and go. He doesn't seem to accept that.

We are keeping an eye on the gulf of mexico again. I am so hoping we can make it through this hurricane season without a major storm. Everyone is in my prayers.

I know I am falling behind in posting on my blog. I am also falling behind with my email. One thing, this dial up internet is so darn slow, I risk drifting off to sleep waiting for page load ups. Another thing, it seems my brain is having trouble in multi-tasking again. I have ended up having to pay late fees again because I lose train of thought about paying bills. I have the dates on the calendar and in my daily planner but I still forget to sit down and write them out and get them in the mail. I think about it but get side tracked and end up not getting them mailed on time.

We have had a big blessing this month, all of K's pain medication was paid in full by the cancer treatment center; over $400 worth. I am able to sleep easier at night. K's radiation treatments will last two weeks. The doctor calls them palliative radiation treatment. It is not a cure but a way to bring K a little comfort from the pain. The new bone scan showed that all the tumors had enlarged since the bone scan that was made in March. The area to be treated is right next to his heart so K is taking a big risk. But he is begging for pain relief and wants the radiation.

My doctor visit did nothing but give me more grief. My blood work showed my triglycerides are 230 and the allowable is 150. The doctor asked if I eat a lot of sweets. I told her the same that I told the other doctor in 2004; I don't eat sweets and if I do it is something sugar free. I have been counting carbs since 2003. My cholestrol is 188 and the allowable is 200. Well that means more blood work and tests. Right now I am tired of seeing doctors; even though they are my husband's. I really don't want to add more appointments of any kind to the calendar. But of course I will and just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

While at the treatment center, someone left copies of this poem. It touched me in so many ways; my heart and soul felt better as soon as I finished reading it. I had to have a copy for us and I also want to share it.


And God Said No

I asked God to take away my pride. And God said "No".
He said it was not for him to take away, but for me to give up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said "No".
He said her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience. And God said "No".
He said patience is a by-product of tribulations. It isn't granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness. And God said "No".
He said he gives me blessings, happiness is up to me.

I asked God to spare me pain. And God said "No".
He said suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow. And God said "No".
He said I must grow on my own. But he will prune me to make me fruitful.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. And God said "No".
He said I will give you life, that you may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me love others, as much as he loves me.
And God said, Ah, finally you have the idea!

Claudia Weisz

It is hard to describe what happened thursday. Nothing was explained to us and we were expecting to get K's first radiation treatment. That was not the case.

First off, we were late and figured we would be rescheduled for that is what happens at the charity clinic. We thought we knew where the cancer treatment center was and did not ask for directions. Lo and behold it had been relocated to another part of the city. But when we finally found it; the people were so nice and told us every thing was okay and took us right on in. I had also assumed that we would get the "lower class, uninsured" treatment that we normally get every where we go. But we were treated like royalty and made to feel very welcome. K was put at ease and told not to worry about payments or expense; that it was not a problem.

Thursday's appointment was a consultation visit. We did a lot of questionnaires and K was given a complete examination. Before we left the doctor gave him a prescription for pain medication but also asked if we would be able to get it. When we explained our finances, he set it up before we even left the building and we will be getting the medication through a patient assistance program. The charity is not concerned at all about things like that. This oncologist told us the opposite about the pain medicine. He said that if you get the right combination of pain killers you do get relief and he will find the right ones for K.

The doctor called the charity hospital and set up another bone scan and was able to get it for this coming tuesday. Normally we would be waiting for months. K's first radiation treatment will be thursday. We both feel very confident with this oncologist.

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Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.
Hebrews 13:5-6

We went to the oncologist today. Finally we hear the words "radiation therapy". K told the doctor the pain is so bad he can't do anything and said please help me. They referred K to the infusion clinic for a treatment of Zometa which is suppose to help with the bone pain. The doctor said it works for most cancer patients; I pray that it gives K some relief. And they are setting up the appointments at the cancer treatment center for the radiation. The doctor explained to K that narcotic pain medicine does not help with pain from bone cancer. K has been taking two prescriptions and the whole time has been complaining of hurting.

I do not know what to expect. I am worried and afraid. I know God will be with me and my flesh shall rest in hope.

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I will bless the Lord, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons. I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope. For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption. Thou wilt shew me the path of life; in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.Psalm 16:7-11