Thursday and Friday of last week I worked in the creeper room. Thursday I had three babies and Friday I had four. It was a nice change from my room.

This week my classroom is going to the movies. I swapped rooms with the coworker who has been going on my field trips for me. She is younger and more energetic than me. I don't know what would be a good word to describe the children in my class room. I just know I don't want the responsibility of taking them out in public.

Out of my last group of three and fours I had five that I had to constantly remind what they were suppose to be doing. This group I have now, you have to keep your eyes and ears on all of them all the time. Not just some of them, the whole class.

Last week two of my girls got into a hair pulling, slapping fight. I have another little girl that likes to leave deep scratch marks on whoever she gets mad at. One of my boys likes to strangle the other kids. I have two that are screamers. When things are not going their way, they scream very loudly. I have a four year old who still falls out on the floor with temper tantrums. I am allowed to send home a form entitled, "opportunity for improvement" but so far they don't seem to be helping.

It has been four weeks and I have learnt a little about each child. Now I need to find a way to have a peaceful classroom. I went to the library and found a book about caring for preschool children in a classroom setting. It is very interesting and helpful.

I want to change jobs but now is not a good time. There are a lot of businesses laying people off. I need to be more thankful that I have employment.

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Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my meditation. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my King, and my God: for unto thee will I pray. My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.
Psalm 5:1-3

I went to sleep in the chair around four, thursday and friday. This group of kids are wearing me out and I have not had all fourteen at one time yet. It is emotional and physical stress. If they don't do what I want them to do, I feel I am doing something wrong. My brain is telling me I am not, it is the children. I can't accept that; I still feel like I should be doing something different. I don't like to be continually correcting them.

I started taking the new prescription for my blood pressure. It is not really a new prescription, the other prescription was for two medicines in one tablet. This prescription is for just one of the medicines. I have actually stopped coughing. I don't know if it is a coincidence and the viral infection run its course. I have coughed a few times but I actually felt that tickling feeling at the back of my throat that I relate to having to cough. It is not a constant cough like I have had for years. The only problem is my blood pressure is back up. So the doctor is going to have to make some decisions.

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I will praise thee, O Lord, with my whole heart; I will shew forth all thy marvellous works. I will be glad and rejoice in thee: I will sing praise to thy name, O thou most High.
Psalm 9:1-2

Another week gone by, another part of my life, my existence, gone with the passing of time.

I did not find out much from the doctor, wednesday. She come into the examining room and asks me what can she do for me. I have always assumed when you go to the doctor you are suppose to be examined, checked over, looked at. At charity you are lucky just to get an appointment. And basically the only other thing you get are prescriptions. I go every three months just to get prescriptions; they do not do anything else. I proceeded to tell the doctor that I had been sick and had went to a walk in clinic instead of the emergency room at the charity hospital may 20th. I told her I was diagnosed with laryngitis and had received a cortisone shot and that my throat was still bothering me and I still have a cough. I asked her about viral infections and what can I do to keep from getting them so often. She said there are numerous viral infections. That I am probably getting different ones. Basically, I need to keep washing my hands which I do and I use a disinfecting gel when I can't get to a sink to use soap and water.

The doctor suggests changing my blood pressure medicine. She thinks that will help with my coughing. I don't want to because my blood pressure is the lowest it has been in years. Why mess with a good thing? The side affect of ace-inhibitors is a dry cough. I do not have a dry cough; I cough up phlegm with each cough. I told her this. It is so frustrating.

The other thing I have to do is straighten out a mistake at the charity hospital. I was turned down for free medical care. There is a glitch is the system. I had to take off from work to go to the social security office and get a letter saying I am who I say I am. Then I have to take more time off from work to go back to charity to give them the letter so I can qualify for free medical care. My social security card has my middle initial as L, the first letter of my middle name. My driver's license has the middle initial W that is the first letter of my maiden name. I have been going to charity hospital for eight years and this has never been questioned.

Work was a little better this week. I did not have more than ten children the whole week. One is out because she had her tonsils removed, a couple were out on vacation. I guess a few others stayed home with grandparents. Two days I actually had only six children. We are getting used to each other and they are beginning to learn my rules and what I expect from them.

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Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away.
Psalm 1:1-4

Last week was the hardest week I have had since I started working at the day care. This group of children have been coming to day care since they were infants. But it was like I was having to instruct children that have not had any routine in their daily life. Every time I would tell them it was time to do something they would either start crying or tell me they didn't want to do it. I really don't want to go back to work tomorrow; but I know I have to.

One of the younger teachers was a tremendous help to me. She volunteered to go on the field trips for me. The past tuesday was a day at a water park. I was worried that I wouldn't do too well with the heat index in the 100's and keeping up with my group of 3's and 4's running every which a way. She approached me and asked if I wanted stay with her one year old class and she would go on the field trips for me. I don't know how it will reflect on my job evaluation this year but I know I am not able to stay outside in the heat. I can take my children outside to the playground because it is a small fenced area with shade and it is for only thirty minutes at a time. If we go off somewhere I worry that I will have to chase one of the kids to keep them from hurting their self. I worry that I will not be able to do my job. I was exhausted every day after work. I came straight home and collapsed. I know it was combination of not being well and the stress of my new group of children. But I am scared that I will not be able to do a good job with these 3's and 4's.

I would like to be taking care of the babies again. I know I can do that job. Really I would like to not have to work at all. I am waiting on God for guidance. He knows what I am able to do and He knows my needs.

I am still not over my cold or viral infection as the doctor called it. I guess it has turned into something else. My voice is hoarse after a day of continuous loud talking with my kids. I have coughing spells when I lie down, when I eat, and sometimes while I am talking. I have a doctor's appointment on the 11th. I am hoping I will get some medicine that will get me well. I have been sick since May 16th. Each time I get a viral infection, it takes me longer to get over it.

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And who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good? But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled; But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear.
1 Peter 3:13-15

Back to work tomorrow with my new classroom of threes and fours. I am starting out with fourteen children, three of which are not completely potty trained. That aggravates me because when they move to my room they have to go to the adult's rest room on their own. In the three year old room, they have a rest room in the class room with the child size toilets. We have such a long waiting list of children that they are getting promoted before they are ready.

We have all kinds of field trips planned for the summer. This will be my first time to go with the children. I don't like the idea of having to start going places until I learn a little about each child's behaviour and attitude. I will be new to them and them to me. The director doesn't consider this; I guess because she doesn't go with us.

One thing on our summer schedule is cooking day. This past thursday we had kinda a test run. We made cinnamon rolls using canned biscuits. The children flattened them out, then spread margarine on them and sprinkled them with cinnamon sugar. Then they rolled them up and placed them on the baking sheet. They had so much fun.


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The earth is the Lord's, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein. For he hath founded it upon the seas, and established it upon the floods. Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place? He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully. He shall receive the blessing from the Lord, and righteousness from the God of his salvation. This is the generation of them that seek him, that seek thy face, O Jacob. Selah.
Psalm 24:1-6