I have been having trouble with my cooking for some reason. I have had to throw out more ruined food these past five months than I have in the past five years. I can't seem to get a handle on why this is happening. Even when I follow a recipe, I don't always get it right.

One major example is my candy making. I have a great recipe for peanut butter fudge. But I have been having trouble getting the fudge right. I know all the facts about humidity, stirring, candy thermomater, beating it too much or not enough. I get the candy right about one out of five times. But when I have to throw away a batch of fudge, it upsets me. I have never liked being wasteful. I made some thursday and it didn't get hard. I tried again yesterday and it was too hard. This is very fustrating and lately I can't handle being fustrated.

But it isn't only candy I have been getting wrong. Everything I cook is below my standards. And one of the things I had been able to be pleased with about myself was cooking. I don't have but a few things that I like about my life and my list is getting shorter very quickly. I have been talking to God and asking for the touch of His loving hands.

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O Lord, thou hast searched me and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether. Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it. Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning , and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea: Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.
Psalm 139:1-10

The rain is back in the form of thunderstorms. Blah day but I do count the blessings. It is just that when there is no sunshine my mind shuts down. This is a new thing for me. I start going through the steps for my normal routine and I feel myself slowing down. Then I am sitting down and my mind is going blank. When I am outside on sunny days; my whole outlook on life is different. I am content, my heart feels full, I am ecstatic. On dark days, I feel empty.

Last night for supper I ate a baked potato. Why do I share this info? I guess because I haven't had a baked potato in almost four years. K had been asking me to fix baked potatoes for him. He even bought the potatoes. When we go out to eat that is what he always orders for his side dish. But we haven't went out to eat in quite a while. I decided to fix his potato last night and I was going to find me something else. For me it was a choice of salad of raw vegetables or a combination of roasted vegetables.

The more I thought about the "potato" the more I was tempted. I stopped eating baked potatoes when I learned that eating a baked potato is equal to eating a cup of sugar. I do eat potatoes; like oven fries or potato chips. I stopped eating baked potatoes with all the trimmings. Frozen crinkle cut french fries cooked in the oven have way less carbs; a baked potato-51 carbs, 10 french fries-17. That is according to the book I have. Well, I succumbed to temptation and ate the potato with 2 tablespoons of light margarine and 1 ounce of shredded cheddar. You know what? I didn't enjoy that baked potato even a little bit. I thought I had been missing out; at least that is what that little old devil whispering in my ear led be to think.

Food doesn't taste the same anymore. At one time I enjoyed eating and looked forward to sitting down to a meal. I don't really get hungry or have much of an appetite. My tastes have changed I guess. I like to eat salty snacks. I don't care much for "cooked" foods right now. I eat because I know it is important not because I want to.

The past three days have been beautiful. The trees are actually budding. My purple magnolia tree is full of blooms. I have one azalea in bloom. The other plants have buds but aren't ready to open. Spring has sprung in my little corner of the states! I have been enjoying being outdoors. My grandmother has always said that if it thunders in February there will be frost in April. We have had several thunderstorms this month so.....I guess I can expect more cold weather.

I saw the flock of birds again and was able to see that they are cedar waxwings not starlings. This is my first sighting of waxwings and I am thrilled. I borrowed K's hunting binoculars and I didn't have to get as close as I do with mine. And after more research I have identified my tiny green birds. They are goldfinch. I did not know that the female was green or that the males changed colors. I am learning more every day.

I have always loved watching birds but I didn't bother to identify them. And around here we have what I call "slang" names for so many plants and birds. I was raised up being told that a cardinal was a redbird and a bluejay was a bluebird. Imagine my amazement when I found out that there are actually redbirds and bluebirds.

I had to unravel the rows of crochet that I had completed on the afghan. I will be putting up the lacy chevron pattern and going back to the ripple pattern that I know how to do. I thought I had figured out the directions for the chevron but the ends of the rows weren't coming out even and the sides were beginning to resemble a curvey road. Going by the directions and picture of the afghan, no curves are necessary.

I saw this and thought the birdies would love a feathered friend story. You have to have a little patience and watch an advertisement first.

In the woods surrounding our yard are flowering hedges that grow wild. They are called privets. When they are in bloom it is hard to stay outside because the scent is smothering. Really the smell is so strong it gets into the house. But the hedges produce berries that the birds love. Sunday the hedges were alive with a flock of birds. They would fly in and eat and fly back to the trees. Back and forth they went, gobbling berries and then retreating to the trees. I couldn't get in a position to use my binoculars because the birds spooked easily. The best I could tell, they were starlings. I guess they were passing through because I haven't seen them again.

I had a real pleasure watching three wood ducks paddling in the drainage ditch in front of the house. During the night there was an inch and half of rain and the ditch was full. They would paddle in one direction and turn and go in the other. Every now and then they would rest on the road, preening their weathers. They were adorable.

I would love to have a camera with one of those lenses that takes good pictures from a distance. You know, like you were looking through binoculars. Then I could post the pictures for all to see.

I have started my new afghan. It is in the Lacy Chevron crochet pattern. I decided on Red Heart Aspen Print Multicolor and the four coordinating colors but I am going to add Windsor Blue as my main color hoping the colors will go with my living room. I wanted bright colors but I didn't want the afghan to stick out like a sore thumb. K is fussy about colors matching according to his way of seeing colors. I have never tried the lacy chevron but it is similar to the ripple pattern and I haven't had to unravel too many rows.

Today, I have been washing the vinyl siding on the house. I couldn't stand to see the mildew any longer. I knew if I didn't do it, it wouldn't get done; because it has went too long already. I have most of it finished. I was doing it a little at a time because I still tire easily. I definitely enjoyed the sunshine today. And the house looks a whole lot better.

Today was another beautiful day with only slight cloud coverage. The warmth from the sun on my face was very welcome. Tomorrow has rain in the forecast; the ground has just begun to dry. I think I am beginning to look forward to summer.

Last night I hemmed a pair of pants. It was a challenge between me and the eye of a needle. I didn't have one of those needle threaders to use. I tried threading the needle with my "bifocals" on. I tried threading it with my glasses off. I tried threading it after licking the end of the thread. Then I cut the wet end of the thread off and tried some more. I wasn't giving up and finally after nearly thirty minutes, I threaded that ol' needle with a very, very long length of thread and hemmed those pants.

My tremors are getting noticably stronger. This morning when I woke up, my head was on my right arm and I felt my arm twitching. I feel like I am shivering all the time. I have decided to increase my calcium and take 2000 mgs. a day. I do hope the doctor decides to do more than prescribe calcium supplements when I see him.

Finally, after almost a whole week of cloud coverage; we had a blue bird sky. It felt wonderful to have sun rays streaming through the windows. Of course the wind chill was in the thirties and you could feel it to the bones. But the sky was gorgeous.

I have been catching up on house work that I have neglected for a long time. I have no desire to do much of anything and I have been doing the basics on cleaning. I have good intentions; even writing down what I want to do each day. But, nine times out of ten, I find myself sitting on the couch instead of finishing a chore. Some days I don't even make any bread.

Year before last I was trying to clear the clutter that I had let pile up. Somewhere I had read that a cluttered house is the sign of a cluttered soul. Sounded sort of like the phrase-cleanliness is next to godliness. I felt that getting my house in order would help to bring happiness back into my life. I did get rid of a lot; but I have plenty more to sort through. Maybe that is why I am still trying to find more of that thing called happiness.

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But if from thence thou shalt seek the Lord thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul. When thou art in tribulation, and all these things are come upon thee, even in the latter days, if thou turn to the Lord thy God, and shalt be obedient unto his voice; For the Lord thy God is a merciful God; he will not forsake thee, neither destroy thee, nor forget the covenant of thy fathers which he sware unto them.
Deuteronomy 4:29-31

I am constantly searching for ways to help me lose weight. I know all the right eating habits. I know what works for me; at least what used to work for me. I found some more tips that I thought I would share. This are good ideas but most of the things on the list I do or don't do as the case may be. I don't drink cola's, I don't drink whole milk, we have used fat free mayo for years, I don't eat pie, I don't eat toast, I stopped eating bread two years ago. But I like seeing the ways to burn, trim, and cut "100 calories".

5 ways to trim 100 calories from food
1. Swap an 8-ounce regular soft drink for a diet soft drink or bottle of water.
2. Drink 2 cups of fat-free milk instead of 2 cups of whole milk.
3. Use 1 teaspoon of mustard or 1 tablespoon of fat-free mayonnaise in place of 1 tablespoon regular mayonnaise.
4. Split a small bag of French fries with a friend rather than eating them all yourself.
5. Slice a typical piece of apple pie about one-third smaller.

5 ways to burn 100 calories through physical activity
1. Pedal an exercise bike for 13 minutes.
2. Practice some fast dance steps for 16 minutes.
3. Work in the garden for 18 minutes.
4. Walk briskly (3.5 mph) for 22 minutes.
5. Clean the house for 25 minutes.

5 food and "foot power" combos to cut 100 calories
1. Eat five fewer potato chips and walk for 6 minutes.
2. Eat one-quarter cup less of spaghetti with tomato sauce and walk for 11 minutes.
3. Top toast with 2 teaspoons of apple butter instead of 2 teaspoons of butter and walk for 11 minutes.
4. Spoon out 3 tablespoons less mashed potatoes and walk for 13 minutes.
5. Skip 2 half & half creamers in coffee and walk for 15 minutes.

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And whiles I was speaking, and praying, and confessing my sin and the sin of my people Israel, and presenting my supplication before the Lord my God for the holy mountain of my God; Yea, whiles I was speaking in prayer, even the man Gabriel, whom I had seen in the vision at the beginning, being cause to fly swiftly, touched me about the time of the evening oblation, And he informed me, and talked with me, and said, O Daniel, I am now come forth to give the skill and understanding. Daniel 9:20-22

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Hallelujah! Praise Jehovah!

This is a picture of the road in front of my house. I have been traveling this road for thirtytwo years. My sister and brother in law lived here before K and I moved here twentysix years ago. Last year our gravel road was finally black-topped. We still can't believe our good fortune. Now our vehicles stay clean longer after we wash and wax them. We can sit on our front porch and not get covered my dust when a car drives past the house.

My home place is surrounded by woods. To feel the warmth of sun rays I have to follow the patches of sun light that make it through the trees. If I do any sun bathing I am dragging my lounge chair all across the back yard to catch the sun rays. The front yard has more sun light but no privacy. And before the road was black-topped there was always a cloud of dust following every passing car, no matter how slow they tried to go.

One of the things I enjoy doing is hanging out clothes to dry on a clothes line. I love the smell of sun dried sheets and pillow cases. When we first moved here, I had to move my clothes line several times before I found the right spot that got enough sun and breeze through the trees to dry the clothes. I believe one of the prettiest sights in the world is wind blown clothes flapping on a clothes line.

I finally felt some sun rays on my face today. It was a wonderful feeling; I am rejuvenated. Just a little, hahaha.

I spent the day with my sister. We, of course, went to wallyworld to make a few purchases. It being a Friday, I couldn't enjoy myself. I try to avoid walmart on fridays and saturdays. But when I am with someone else, I try to go along if it isn't life endangering or morally wrong. I didn't get everything I went after because the noise level was brain numbing for me.

I have been putting off buying new clothes; waiting for the pounds to come off. I had bought new clothes before the surgery that I have only been worn a few times. I keep hoping to be able to wear them again. But in the mean time, I need something besides my warm up suits to wear so I decided to see if the wallyworld that my sister goes to had more to offer the "larger size" woman, than the one I shop at. I did manage to find me a shirt and a pair of denim capris for the new "larger size" woman I have become.

I also looked over the yarn department but couldn't get my mind to settle on a specific color scheme. I guess that might be because I haven't actually chosen a crochet pattern yet for another afghan.

Ya'll, I have discovered a new snack for me. Ritz Chips! I like crackers and I like potato chips. Ritz Chips are the best of both. They are baked; not fried. According to the bag, 15 chips(they are big) are only 140 calories and 5 fat grams. The chips are crunchy, salty, and kinda taste like a ritz cracker. They are delicious to me!

This cloudy dreary weather is still hanging over us. I crave sunshine; I need blue skies. Punxsutawney Phil predicts six more weeks of winter; but I was happy to see that other ground hogs disagreed with him, and also a few more weather predicting animal friends.

K decided to stay up and watch Charles Bronson in two of his Death Wish movies. I decided to stay up with him so we didn't go to bed till one o'clock this morning. He was up and gone by eight this morning. I stayed in bed till 9:30; then moved from the bed to couch. I was still in my sleeping clothes at noon; I am almost lifeless. With out sun rays I am a ho-hum person.

I tried to start on the afghan from year before last but I still couldn't understand the directions. I need a crochet pattern with the simple single, double, or triple stitches. Something that will come automatically with out me having to think or concentrate. My mind still doesn't do that very well.

I have been going through my collection of pattern books. It is like looking at a photo album; each book takes me back to yesteryears. Some of the books my granny gave me and I remember sitting and watching her hands crochet and listening to her talk and laugh. I look through the books and see pictures of the afghans I have crocheted. I know, I am weird, I am a sentimental old fool.

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Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fullfilling of the law. And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed. The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light.
Romans 13:10-12