Drug Recall

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I read an article this morning about the drug recall of Vioxx. You would think by now that companies knew better than to offer a drug until it is thoroughly tested. There has been enough law suits to show them what will happen after families have lost love ones because of bad medicine. My brother in law takes Vioxx. The article mentioned that Celebrex is being watched. I have three family members that take Celebrex.

I know that all drugs have side effects. I had been a person that rarely used medicine if at all possible. I started taking prescription medicine for my headaches. I went as long as I could with just using aspirin and acetaminophen and then ibuprofen. When nothing gave me relief; I went to the doctor. Now I also take three other prescriptions; one to regulate my heartbeat and two to lower my blood pressure. I don't want to take them but I know I have life threatening health problems. The list of side effects for each one is terrible and scary. The question I ask myself sometimes is do I want to die from my health problems or from the side effects from the drugs that are suppose to help me with my health problems? I keep taking the pills every day because I don't have an answer for the question.

Memories

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Today is my oldest son's birthday. Twentysix years ago God gave him to us and I have been forever thankful. He has brought much joy to my life.
Happy Birthday, Kyle!!!!

I was never a tomboy growing up and for a while wondered why God played such a joke on me. The thought of being outside with all the creepie crawlies was a major challenge. But God knew what He was doing. Twentytwo months later He blessed us with another son! I grew up a lot during the care of my two boys.

But I thank God for nieces too. I can have fun doing girlish things but my sisters have all the responsibilities. I can sew and crochet with them and then pack up my stuff and go home.

God is with us

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I hope that the hurricanes are over with for the rest of the season. I haven't heard from everyone yet, I pray that God has not taken anyone home. I pray to hear some news soon.

I have finally calmed down a little; with the help of God. I was on the verge of a pity party but counted blessings instead. Some of my old aches and pains have come back, especially the awful headache. Migraine prescriptions make the pain bearable. The difference this time is it has not become a daily headache as before the surgery. It was only for two days. For years I have gone to bed with a headache and woke up with one. My fear is that it will be like that again. The surgeon told me they removed the tumor not the conditions that caused it and that the possibility of another occurring was strong. Naturally there was no guarantee that all my health problems were caused by the tumor.

Quilty Bird asked about my sewing habits. I enjoy crafting but I have sewn clothes and one of my favorites is the pajama pants. You can find fabric to match any personality or a child's favorite character these days. And it is so easy to match the fabric with a pull on shirt. Fun, fun, fun!!!! I like making elastic waist pants for myself. I am a denim freak but I like the soft fabrics you can get now that are just wash and wear. Simplicity patterns are my favorite; the instructions are easier for my brain to comprehend. I have bought several of the Easy patterns that McCall's makes. The fewer pattern pieces; the better it is for me! HaHa I have tried my hand at quilting but I have only made pillow covers. Too many little pieces for me to cut out and sew. I applaud all quilters!!!!!

Crocheting is my thing. I have crocheted quilt pattern afghans and I love, love, love it!!! I have not crocheted anything to wear though, again I like the craft items. I enjoy making doll clothes, christmas decorations, stuffed animals, doilies, but afghans are my all time favorite.

I have not done anything creative in a long time. That is when I knew something was seriously wrong with me. I had to stop crocheting because my fingers were locking up on me. I noticed too that I couldn't keep track of my stitches. I lost the desire to do everything. I was almost a vegetable; well I became a couch potato. :) I was in front of the tv but I wasn't really watching it, I was just there.

I still haven't started any projects but I am planning an afghan for my son's fiance. I have a list of the colors that she likes and I am going through my patterns. As soon as I get to walmart, I will get the yarn.

Adolescence

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I have had hula hooping on the brain for a couple of weeks now. One evening the thought entered my mind and it is still hanging on.
I want to try and see if I can still hula hoop.

This morning I thought about jingle-jumping. Anyone remember the jingle-jump? You strapped it on one foot and skipped and swung the connected rope and ball and jumped over it with the other foot. There was a bell that jingled the whole time. I used do that for hours when I was a child. It was more fun than jumping rope.

I don't know why but I continue to think about the things I did when I was young. I feel young in my mind but this body definitely isn't going to co-operate. But I think I can keep a hula hoop going. HaHaHa

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"I am the way so just follow Me, though the way be rough and you cannot see

I am the Truth which all men seek, so heed not "false prophets" nor the words that they speak

I am the Life and I hold the key, that opens the door to Eternity

And in this dark world I am the light, To the Promised Land where there is no night!"
Helen Steiner Rice

Something New and Different

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I love cooking. I love the eating part too. Haha I asked K. what he would like for supper and he said hotdogs. Nine times out of ten if I ask he will say hotdogs. NO imagination. One day we were at the store and I tell him he can have anything he wants for supper no question about the cost. Hotdogs, he says. He tells me to buy some weinies, get an extra pack.

Me, I like trying new things. That is why I like buffet style resturants. I can try a spoonful of everything. I have all kinds of cook books. And now I can go online and google up unlimited amounts of recipes. It is oodles of fun.

Soup is number one on my list of favorites. K. hates soup. But when the weather changes, like now, I crave soup. And I don't make small pots of soup. Today, I decided to experiment. The main ingredient I wanted was pumpkin. I have never had pumpkin soup. But I have been wanting to try it. Armed with a can of pumpkin, I googled for a recipe. There were all kinds, hot and sour, curried, creamy, savory. I didn't have the ingredients for most of them. The other thing I noticed was a lot of the recipes said pumpkin in the name but were made with butternut squash. But I found one, Cream Of Pumpkin. I had everything but the whipping cream. I substituted low fat milk and the soup is still delicious! The taste is similar to pumpkin cookies. I really like it. I can't wait to try another new soup! Bon Appetit!

First Day of Autumn, Yea!!

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Today was oh so loverly! I love saying that word, loverly, it kinda rolls off the tongue in a fun way and to me has a lot of meaning. Whoa, you can tell my hormones are running in overdrive. HaHa A cool breeze was sending leaves through the air and lifting the curtains at my open windows. Simply loverly!!!!!

This morning started off icky. I woke up with some awful stomach cramps that I haven't felt in years. I guess that is a sign that the thyroids are beginning to kick in. I was up early rooting around in the closets and cabinets looking for the heating pad and midol. I had forgotten how debilitating menstrual cramps can get. Goodness me, I was wrapped around the heating pad over an hour before the midol took effect and I got some relief.

I have been downloading software and searching the web for the addresses I had on my favorites' link. My son was a great help and even taught me a few new tricks. Thank goodness for cell phones and unlimited long distance. Don't leave home without them!!!

I think I am going through the "empty nest" syndrome. My youngest moved into his own place two weeks ago. I didn't think it would affect me since he worked such long hours and I rarely spent a lot of time with him. But he was in and out during the day and I catch myself watching the clock and thinking he will be coming home or he hasn't gotten up to get ready for work. Then I remember that he isn't living here anymore. Oh the pangs of motherhood.

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Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

Computer Up and Going Again

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I have been without my computer for five days. Last year I don't think I could have handled it. I know my emotions are getting better 'cause I did okay.

Last month it was my internet provider. But I could still use my other programs. This time my windows program crashed and I had to do a full recovery. I had been having weird problems with the computer and had been working with tech support via the email. And my son gave me advice over the phone. I wasn't prepared to lose everything. The tech support instructed me to do a "non-destructive recovery" and to make sure I did a back up disk. Well, with my meager computer knowledge when the computer did not "recover" I lost everything and I'm starting from scratch and I am still trying to re-download all my stuff and find all my favorites. The back up cd's I made only had the "shortcuts" not the programs itself. HaHa, I'm still learning!!!

Since I am not very computer literate, I called around to find a repair shop and the fee started at $75 dollars an hour. One place said a $150 fee. All I could think was there goes my past time; I can't afford to get it fixed. Then I called the support center for my computer to see what they said. I had called once before but declined when they said there would be a fee. That is why I had been getting email help for free. The hp center asked for a $40 fee. But that was for support until the problem was solved, not by the hour, so I agreed and charged it. Then the technical advisor told me I would need to purchase a set of recovery cd's for $36.95. Okay, now we're talking $76.95; decisions, decisions. Still, that is less than what the repair shops were asking and the tech guy promised me I could do it myself with his help and I really did want my computer back just for the freecell card game, if I couldn't get back online. So, I sheepishly tell him, okay, okay, put it on the same credit card.

I have only been computing for three years and sometimes I wonder what I did all them other years. When I first got the computer I went online for email to keep in touch with my son and daughter in law and for some cooking and craft web sites. And I love to play freecell. My oldest son talked me into starting a blog. He felt that writing about my problems and feelings would help me. It is sort of like a journal or diary. I have come to see things in a different way as I try to put my feelings into words and then read them. And I have found that certain Bible verses come to mind as I pray and write. It was hard at first, knowing that someone might read my thoughts.

I did delete my first blog. I was terribly embarrassed and afraid that someone that knew me might stumble across my words. Those days after I stopped writing, I kept going to the computer to write something. I would go online and suddenly remember I didn't have a page anymore. A wave of disappointment would wash over me. I considered pen and ink, but was more afraid that K. would stumble across my written words. I sat at the computer and visited the blogs that I regularly read. I was fast becoming a blog addict. HaHa I started my new blog and fell into html hell again. I still don't understand html or all that stuff connected with it. But it is on my mind constantly. I dream in html codes. HaHa It is true!!! I lose pieces of my dream because I can't remember the code! HaHaHa

I really love to visit with other bloggers. I love to look at other people's page set ups. I want to learn so much more html. I feel that some blogger's are so open with their feelings. I am so amazed at the beautiful words they use expressing their emotions. Blogging has helped me an awful lot. I am so glad to have my computer again. Now, if I can find all my favorites I'll be as happy as a 'possum eating grapes!

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Now unto God and our Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen
Philippians 4:20

For Ya'll

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Those who know me, know I love poems. I browse the internet ecards to find special ones to share. Plus they give me a good feeling. I found this one and I have to share it with ya'll. Hope you take the time to read it.

A card for everyone!

Too Much, Too Soon

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I have been resting up again. I decided to do some sweeping and mopping and scrubbing bathtubs and toilets. And I did three loads of clothes. As I was folding the last load, I noticed a burning pain around the area in my neck where the tumor was removed. Certain ways I moved my left arm would bring the discomfort back. I guess I over did it with all this energy I have been having and no other way to use it up. I have noticed the burning pain several other times. If I don't use my arms I am okay.

I told K. about it and he told me the surgeon said I had to take it easy for ninety days. I told him it has only been thirtyseven days. At first he didn't make the connection. I guess he was thinking a month has passed; you can go back to active duty. I reminded him "ninety days - three months" and he says, "I guess I'm going to have to start helping out again." As soon as the incision healed I started back doing housework because no one else was doing it. But I am back on the couch.

The surgeon had instructed me with "bed rest, allowed up for bathroom" for two weeks. I failed to follow those instructions. I was up the second day I came home. I didn't do much; but it was more than I was suppose to do.

I will stop the scrubbing and mopping. The thought of moving some furniture around had entered my mind this morning. I squashed the thought quickly. I will have to start squashing more thoughts.

Wings of Eagles

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I am starting to get my energy back. But I don't want to use it on household chores. haha I am bored to tears at the house and can't find an escape route.

This morning I actually leaped over the back of the couch. whooo-hooo!!!! K. was sleeping on the couch instead of taking me somewhere. He works evenings from 1:00 to 9:00 and the only time we have is mornings and he is neglecting me. He won't get me a vehicle so I can't do anything unless someone takes me. And it seems no one wants to do anything with me. And I have all this energy coming back that I haven't felt in years. This thought to leap onto my husband came into my head and......well....I went over the back of the couch!!!! Not to gracefully but it was fun!!!!! My husband just says what is the matter with you; you are acting like a kid. I just laughed at the expression on his face; I can't help it-I feel like a kid again!!!

The only thing I have did since Aug. 6 is go to the doctor, go to the library, and go out to eat for my anniversary. I have not went anywhere else. I still feel a pull in my neck muscles sometimes when I am using my arms but I am ready for some fun activities. I would like to go for a walk in the park or go to the zoo even; some outside activities. There are so many things he doesn't want to do anymore; not even when he knows how important they are to me. But I have been praying about it and talking to K.

God knows what I need. He will provide it.

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Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall; But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:28-31

Trust in the Lord

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Yes, everyone that is affected by these hurricanes have been in my thoughts and prayers. Why these storms have been back to back and people have barely enough time to recuperate is mind boggling. I am glad your families are all right.

This past week, I have been praying and listening; hoping to get rid of the confusion I feel has swallowed me. My shoulders are tied in knots. I am so tense and cannot relax. The whole time I am sitting; my leg is jigging up and down. Or I am swinging my foot. I try to stop but I can only be still for a minute. I get up and walk around and notice I am wringing my hands.

I feel I am spending too much thought on what I am suppose to be doing. I know God has been dealing with me for years. I have been turning my back. I know this and that is why I am upset. Every thing He said to me; I came back with you've got to be kidding, I can't do that. Plus, I didn't fight enough to make things happen. I let people keep me down.

Now I have this desperate need to do what God asks me. But I don't know how. I don't know how to make things happen or how to make people listen to what I want and need. I have allowed others to do my thinking and plan my life all these years. Now I fully understand that I will not have peace and joy unless I am following God's plan for my life. He foreknew and predestinated me and I must be about my Father's plan.

I have told God no for so long; I don't know whose plans I am hearing now, His or mine. I want to do the right thing. I want to do what God wants, not what I think He wants; I am having a trying time figuring out the difference.

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Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on our own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6